Liesel's Diary Entries
Description for Project: Keep a diary from a main character’s point of view (your gender doesn’t matter). This should include her/his thoughts & feelings, actions, and significant events from the entire novel.
January 13, 1939
Today is the worst and most confusing day of my life. Werner is dead. How did he die? How could he have died? I was sleeping when it happened. I feel like I am still in my dream.
A boy and an older man buried him in the cold snow. My poor brother has been buried in that dreary, freezing town. I did not want to leave him there. He did not deserve that. Mama had to drag me away from there, and I took a small black book from the snow. I can’t read, but I need this book. I don’t know why I took it at the time, but I had to. It just made sense, like if I took it I’d still be connected to my brother.
I don’t know why my mama put us on that horrible train to give me to someone else. She said that these “Hubermanns” would feed me and would be my new parents. She cried when she said this. I didn’t understand – why would she give me away if it made her sad? I thought someone had forced her to. I still think so. I don’t want to come in this strange house with these strange people. Maybe if I refuse, they will have to take me back to my house and my mama. I do not want these people to be my parents. I don’t want this hose to be my home. I feel like my life is a marble going down a cylinder, spinning out of control into a pit of sadness and dread.
2 Hours Later
The screaming woman forced me out of the car. She swears incredibly fast and loud. My mama never swore like that. The man tried to calm her down, but she pushed him away. The man did not look so harsh. I noticed he had nice silver eyes. The light appeared to dance in them. When the woman screamed at me to take a bath, I went into the bathroom but did not do anything. I didn’t want to submit to this, that this would be my new home where I would take bathes. Later, the man came in. He did not force me to take a bath, but rather taught me to roll cigarettes. I think I like this man. He seems friendly and kind.
2 Weeks Later
The woman, who I learned is named Rosa, does the laundry for the neighbors. She calls them vulgarly names and gossips about everything they do. One of the neighbors she dislikes the most is the Hermanns – the mayor and his wife. Rosa thinks that Ilsa Hermann is crazy, but I do not think so. She intrigues me. Anyways, I’m not supposed to call Rosa by her name anymore. Instead, she has asked me to call her Mama and the man Papa. I am okay with calling the silver-eyed man, Hans Hubermann, Papa. I didn’t know my real father, just that the word “communist” is associated with him. Hans is a good Papa. He is always very kind, and he has a humorous twinkle in his eyes.
I have always had nightmares every night about my little brother. I see him, dead in the snow. These nightmares are so scary to me, but whenever they happen, Papa comes into my room and soothes me. He doesn’t leave me, but rather stays with me. I get a very safe feeling when he is near me.
A Few Days Later
Today, I went out and played soccer on Himmel Street with the neighbors. It was cold and snowy, but it was fun. I was stuck being goalie since I was the “new kid” as they said. When I became goalie, this cocky kid named Rudy Steiner was up against me. He hadn’t had a penalty in 18 shots. Rudy he’d make the goal, but I was determined to stop him – and I did! This made Rudy mad, and he threw a snowball at me out of frustration. Rudy is such a saukerl.
A few weeks later
A few nights ago, I wet the bed after I had a nightmare. Papa came in as always, and he changed the sheets. I was so ashamed, but he did not say anything about it. However, I am kind of glad that this happened now because Papa found The Grave Digger’s Handbook. I tried to read it, but couldn’t. In school, the teachers tried to teach me the letters, but I didn’t understand them. The night I wet the bed, Papa taught me a few letters. It was different than at school. He drew funny pictures, and we came up with fun words for every letter. Him and I are now trying to read The Grave Digger’s Handbook. I like it when we read together; especially when we go into the basement and paint words that we do not know. We sound them out and find out what they mean. I really want to learn to read; it will show everyone at school that I am just as smart as they are.
April 20, 1939
Today is the Führer’s birthday. To celebrate, there was a fire in the middle of town. They burned everything that was related to the Jews – books, newspapers, anything. When the fire was smoldering and smoking and everyone had left, I went closer to it. There was something that caught my attention – a red book. Why would someone want to burn a book? Maybe it does have Jewish material, but Papa and I have gotten far with our reading. Reading is so exciting – it puts pictures in your mind!
I knew I would get in trouble for stealing it, so I tried really hard to be unnoticed and careful when I took the book. The title was The Shoulder Shrug. It was smoking in very hot, but there was no going back. I slipped the book into my jacket and looked around to see if anyone noticed. I think I am in massive trouble – I will get punished for sure. Ilsa Hermann had seen me steal it. What will she do? Will she tell the police? I was really scared after I knew she had seen me, but then Papa came over and took me home. The book was very hot, and I felt so terrible and sick, so I took it out. I thought Papa would punish me for my thievery, but he didn’t. Instead, he told me to keep it a secret between us. Though I love Papa for this, I am so troubled that Ilsa Hermann saw me. I can never pick up her laundry again – even if I get a hundred beatings from Mama!
A Few Days Later
Today, I had to go pick up laundry. I went with Rudy, and when I came to the Hermann’s house, I was terrified. I didn’t want to knock the door, but Rudy was there and I didn’t want to look stupid. Ilsa answered and invited me in. I didn’t want to go in, but I had to face my punishment. At least, I was expecting a punishment. Instead, Ilsa brought to the most amazing room I have ever seen. It was filled with BOOKS! Hundreds of them – all different colors and words! I ran my hand across them. I was astounded that such a wonderful room could exist. I had to leave then, but I really didn’t want to. I need to read those books. I cannot wait to go back there.
November 1, 1940
A few minutes ago I heard the door open and someone come in. I heard Papa’s voice too, so I went to go see what was happening. There was a man who was crouched on the ground. He was dirty and exhausted. He had brown hair that looked like sticks and brown eyes. He was a Jew. I don’t know what is happening. Right now, they are talking in the kitchen, but I can’t hear what they are saying. Are we going to hide a Jew? The Jew in The Shoulder Shrug didn’t seem like a bad person like the Führer is teaching everyone. In fact, the character seemed like a normal person, just with brown hair and eyes. He didn’t even seem too different to me, because I have brown eyes. My hair is blonde, though. Still, I don’t know any Jews. I am not sure what one is doing here, but I have to trust Papa. I think that if I do, everything will be okay.
A Few Weeks Later
The Jew who I mentioned in my previous entry was named Max Vandenburg. For the first three days, Max slept. He was in the bed where my brother was supposed to sleep in. At first, I had a bad feeling when this happened, but it went away – mostly because Max intrigued me. He slept for three days. He looked very…peaceful? He didn’t look like the evil Jews portrayed by Herr Hitler. When he woke up, he was sorry for sleeping there and went to the basement. I guess I was kind of relieved. He stayed there for weeks, and Mama and me came to bring him food. I was always too shy to talk to him. When it got cold, Max came up to the fire at night. He also took a bath, and his hair of sticks turned to feathers. I told Papa this. Later, Papa said that Max had nightmares like me. I was curious, so I worked up the courage to ask him about them. He said he dreamed about trains and saying goodbye. I told him about my dreams about trains and my dead brother.
February 4, 1941
Today was my 12th birthday. I got a book called The Mud Men from Mama and Papa. I gave them hugs, and as I was doing this, I looked over. Max was there. He looked kind of sad and lonely. Maybe he was thinking of the family dreamed about saying goodbye to. I decided to hug him too.
A Few Days Later
This week, Mama and Papa were trying very hard to keep me out of the basement today. Today I found out that they were doing this because Max was making a late birthday gift for me. It was a book called The Standover Man. The book was written and drawn on repainted pages of another book. It was about Max’s life. In the book, he looked like a bird. I guess he heard me tell Papa that his hair looked like feathers.
The book mentioned Max’s father disappearing, him fist fighting, making friends, going into hiding, riding a train to Molching, and coming into our home. Then, the book was about him and me. He wrote that we have things in common – trains, dreams, and fists (Papa told him about my fighting with Ludwig Schmeikl.) He also wrote about our dream conversation. Lastly, he wrote about when I hugged him on my birthday. He said that this was a gift for him, and that he thinks we are friends. I guess we are friends. It feels nice. This book makes me feel nice too – it’s a really good book. I think I will go thank him for the book now.
Months Later
Over the past year, I’ve been going to Ilsa Hermann’s library and reading. She’s never really said much. One day, I found a book with her son’s name on it, and I made the mistake of asking her about it. He was dead, and she’d been grieving all these years.
Today, Ilsa gave me The Shoulder Shrug, a book I’ve been reading. I didn’t know why until she handed me a letter. She was our last customer, since all the others had quit receiving our laundry services since the war. Now she was turning us away. How could she? I thought she was better than that. I thought she liked me – she showed me her library! And now she was taking this away from me. It was so cruel! I was furious at first. I screamed at her and threw the book at her. She did nothing. I wish she had, because it didn’t change anything. Mama didn’t give me a beating when I told her what had happened. I wish she’d done something too. I deserved it – I’d yelled terrible that at Ilsa. I’m too ashamed to repeat what I’d said, but in a sick way, I’m kind of glad. It was too cruel of Ilsa to do to this to me.
February 1942
Something terrible has happened. Max fell over onto the floor. He wasn’t conscious, and he was very, very cold. I should’ve seen this happening. Lately, when I came into the basement to read with Max while he did crosswords, he was getting shakier. He always seemed cold, even when he came to the fireplace. And a few months ago, I brought snow to the basement to build a snowman. I shouldn’t have done that – it was cold enough down there already! What have I done?
Right now, we’ve brought him to my bed and put warm blankets on his body. He isn’t warming up. I’m scared and I feel so guilty. Is Max going to die because of me?
A Few Days Later
I’ve been brining small gifts to Max while he is in a coma. I’ve found things like a feather, a leaf, a toy soldier, and a button. I’ve also been reading to him. I finished the Whistler, and today I stole The Dream Carrier from Ilsa Hermann’s library with Rudy. I stole The Whistler first. I think Ilsa owes me these books. If she doesn’t want me to at the library, I have to bring it to myself. I’ll start reading The Whistler to Max tomorrow. Maybe it will make him wake up.
1 week later
It worked! Max has finally woken up. I am so glad – Mama and Papa had been discussing what to do with him if he died. Their conversation gave me a sick feeling, but they were right – what would we have done? Anyway, I’m very glad that Max is awake now. He likes my presents. He’s scared to go to sleep now though, so I’ll read to him. I think it will help.
August 17th, 1942
Today, Rudy came to me and brought me to the Mayor’s house. On a windowsill was a book– the Duden Dictionary. When I opened the book, a letter fell out. It was from Ilsa to me. She wrote that she knew I’d been stealing the books from her library, but she wasn’t angry. It made her smile. The letter also said she was sorry that she couldn’t keep Mama employed, and that she hopes I will come back to her library. I’m not mad at Ilsa anymore. She’s let me steal her books and read them. I think I will go to talk to Ilsa someday, but not today.
Today is the worst and most confusing day of my life. Werner is dead. How did he die? How could he have died? I was sleeping when it happened. I feel like I am still in my dream.
A boy and an older man buried him in the cold snow. My poor brother has been buried in that dreary, freezing town. I did not want to leave him there. He did not deserve that. Mama had to drag me away from there, and I took a small black book from the snow. I can’t read, but I need this book. I don’t know why I took it at the time, but I had to. It just made sense, like if I took it I’d still be connected to my brother.
I don’t know why my mama put us on that horrible train to give me to someone else. She said that these “Hubermanns” would feed me and would be my new parents. She cried when she said this. I didn’t understand – why would she give me away if it made her sad? I thought someone had forced her to. I still think so. I don’t want to come in this strange house with these strange people. Maybe if I refuse, they will have to take me back to my house and my mama. I do not want these people to be my parents. I don’t want this hose to be my home. I feel like my life is a marble going down a cylinder, spinning out of control into a pit of sadness and dread.
2 Hours Later
The screaming woman forced me out of the car. She swears incredibly fast and loud. My mama never swore like that. The man tried to calm her down, but she pushed him away. The man did not look so harsh. I noticed he had nice silver eyes. The light appeared to dance in them. When the woman screamed at me to take a bath, I went into the bathroom but did not do anything. I didn’t want to submit to this, that this would be my new home where I would take bathes. Later, the man came in. He did not force me to take a bath, but rather taught me to roll cigarettes. I think I like this man. He seems friendly and kind.
2 Weeks Later
The woman, who I learned is named Rosa, does the laundry for the neighbors. She calls them vulgarly names and gossips about everything they do. One of the neighbors she dislikes the most is the Hermanns – the mayor and his wife. Rosa thinks that Ilsa Hermann is crazy, but I do not think so. She intrigues me. Anyways, I’m not supposed to call Rosa by her name anymore. Instead, she has asked me to call her Mama and the man Papa. I am okay with calling the silver-eyed man, Hans Hubermann, Papa. I didn’t know my real father, just that the word “communist” is associated with him. Hans is a good Papa. He is always very kind, and he has a humorous twinkle in his eyes.
I have always had nightmares every night about my little brother. I see him, dead in the snow. These nightmares are so scary to me, but whenever they happen, Papa comes into my room and soothes me. He doesn’t leave me, but rather stays with me. I get a very safe feeling when he is near me.
A Few Days Later
Today, I went out and played soccer on Himmel Street with the neighbors. It was cold and snowy, but it was fun. I was stuck being goalie since I was the “new kid” as they said. When I became goalie, this cocky kid named Rudy Steiner was up against me. He hadn’t had a penalty in 18 shots. Rudy he’d make the goal, but I was determined to stop him – and I did! This made Rudy mad, and he threw a snowball at me out of frustration. Rudy is such a saukerl.
A few weeks later
A few nights ago, I wet the bed after I had a nightmare. Papa came in as always, and he changed the sheets. I was so ashamed, but he did not say anything about it. However, I am kind of glad that this happened now because Papa found The Grave Digger’s Handbook. I tried to read it, but couldn’t. In school, the teachers tried to teach me the letters, but I didn’t understand them. The night I wet the bed, Papa taught me a few letters. It was different than at school. He drew funny pictures, and we came up with fun words for every letter. Him and I are now trying to read The Grave Digger’s Handbook. I like it when we read together; especially when we go into the basement and paint words that we do not know. We sound them out and find out what they mean. I really want to learn to read; it will show everyone at school that I am just as smart as they are.
April 20, 1939
Today is the Führer’s birthday. To celebrate, there was a fire in the middle of town. They burned everything that was related to the Jews – books, newspapers, anything. When the fire was smoldering and smoking and everyone had left, I went closer to it. There was something that caught my attention – a red book. Why would someone want to burn a book? Maybe it does have Jewish material, but Papa and I have gotten far with our reading. Reading is so exciting – it puts pictures in your mind!
I knew I would get in trouble for stealing it, so I tried really hard to be unnoticed and careful when I took the book. The title was The Shoulder Shrug. It was smoking in very hot, but there was no going back. I slipped the book into my jacket and looked around to see if anyone noticed. I think I am in massive trouble – I will get punished for sure. Ilsa Hermann had seen me steal it. What will she do? Will she tell the police? I was really scared after I knew she had seen me, but then Papa came over and took me home. The book was very hot, and I felt so terrible and sick, so I took it out. I thought Papa would punish me for my thievery, but he didn’t. Instead, he told me to keep it a secret between us. Though I love Papa for this, I am so troubled that Ilsa Hermann saw me. I can never pick up her laundry again – even if I get a hundred beatings from Mama!
A Few Days Later
Today, I had to go pick up laundry. I went with Rudy, and when I came to the Hermann’s house, I was terrified. I didn’t want to knock the door, but Rudy was there and I didn’t want to look stupid. Ilsa answered and invited me in. I didn’t want to go in, but I had to face my punishment. At least, I was expecting a punishment. Instead, Ilsa brought to the most amazing room I have ever seen. It was filled with BOOKS! Hundreds of them – all different colors and words! I ran my hand across them. I was astounded that such a wonderful room could exist. I had to leave then, but I really didn’t want to. I need to read those books. I cannot wait to go back there.
November 1, 1940
A few minutes ago I heard the door open and someone come in. I heard Papa’s voice too, so I went to go see what was happening. There was a man who was crouched on the ground. He was dirty and exhausted. He had brown hair that looked like sticks and brown eyes. He was a Jew. I don’t know what is happening. Right now, they are talking in the kitchen, but I can’t hear what they are saying. Are we going to hide a Jew? The Jew in The Shoulder Shrug didn’t seem like a bad person like the Führer is teaching everyone. In fact, the character seemed like a normal person, just with brown hair and eyes. He didn’t even seem too different to me, because I have brown eyes. My hair is blonde, though. Still, I don’t know any Jews. I am not sure what one is doing here, but I have to trust Papa. I think that if I do, everything will be okay.
A Few Weeks Later
The Jew who I mentioned in my previous entry was named Max Vandenburg. For the first three days, Max slept. He was in the bed where my brother was supposed to sleep in. At first, I had a bad feeling when this happened, but it went away – mostly because Max intrigued me. He slept for three days. He looked very…peaceful? He didn’t look like the evil Jews portrayed by Herr Hitler. When he woke up, he was sorry for sleeping there and went to the basement. I guess I was kind of relieved. He stayed there for weeks, and Mama and me came to bring him food. I was always too shy to talk to him. When it got cold, Max came up to the fire at night. He also took a bath, and his hair of sticks turned to feathers. I told Papa this. Later, Papa said that Max had nightmares like me. I was curious, so I worked up the courage to ask him about them. He said he dreamed about trains and saying goodbye. I told him about my dreams about trains and my dead brother.
February 4, 1941
Today was my 12th birthday. I got a book called The Mud Men from Mama and Papa. I gave them hugs, and as I was doing this, I looked over. Max was there. He looked kind of sad and lonely. Maybe he was thinking of the family dreamed about saying goodbye to. I decided to hug him too.
A Few Days Later
This week, Mama and Papa were trying very hard to keep me out of the basement today. Today I found out that they were doing this because Max was making a late birthday gift for me. It was a book called The Standover Man. The book was written and drawn on repainted pages of another book. It was about Max’s life. In the book, he looked like a bird. I guess he heard me tell Papa that his hair looked like feathers.
The book mentioned Max’s father disappearing, him fist fighting, making friends, going into hiding, riding a train to Molching, and coming into our home. Then, the book was about him and me. He wrote that we have things in common – trains, dreams, and fists (Papa told him about my fighting with Ludwig Schmeikl.) He also wrote about our dream conversation. Lastly, he wrote about when I hugged him on my birthday. He said that this was a gift for him, and that he thinks we are friends. I guess we are friends. It feels nice. This book makes me feel nice too – it’s a really good book. I think I will go thank him for the book now.
Months Later
Over the past year, I’ve been going to Ilsa Hermann’s library and reading. She’s never really said much. One day, I found a book with her son’s name on it, and I made the mistake of asking her about it. He was dead, and she’d been grieving all these years.
Today, Ilsa gave me The Shoulder Shrug, a book I’ve been reading. I didn’t know why until she handed me a letter. She was our last customer, since all the others had quit receiving our laundry services since the war. Now she was turning us away. How could she? I thought she was better than that. I thought she liked me – she showed me her library! And now she was taking this away from me. It was so cruel! I was furious at first. I screamed at her and threw the book at her. She did nothing. I wish she had, because it didn’t change anything. Mama didn’t give me a beating when I told her what had happened. I wish she’d done something too. I deserved it – I’d yelled terrible that at Ilsa. I’m too ashamed to repeat what I’d said, but in a sick way, I’m kind of glad. It was too cruel of Ilsa to do to this to me.
February 1942
Something terrible has happened. Max fell over onto the floor. He wasn’t conscious, and he was very, very cold. I should’ve seen this happening. Lately, when I came into the basement to read with Max while he did crosswords, he was getting shakier. He always seemed cold, even when he came to the fireplace. And a few months ago, I brought snow to the basement to build a snowman. I shouldn’t have done that – it was cold enough down there already! What have I done?
Right now, we’ve brought him to my bed and put warm blankets on his body. He isn’t warming up. I’m scared and I feel so guilty. Is Max going to die because of me?
A Few Days Later
I’ve been brining small gifts to Max while he is in a coma. I’ve found things like a feather, a leaf, a toy soldier, and a button. I’ve also been reading to him. I finished the Whistler, and today I stole The Dream Carrier from Ilsa Hermann’s library with Rudy. I stole The Whistler first. I think Ilsa owes me these books. If she doesn’t want me to at the library, I have to bring it to myself. I’ll start reading The Whistler to Max tomorrow. Maybe it will make him wake up.
1 week later
It worked! Max has finally woken up. I am so glad – Mama and Papa had been discussing what to do with him if he died. Their conversation gave me a sick feeling, but they were right – what would we have done? Anyway, I’m very glad that Max is awake now. He likes my presents. He’s scared to go to sleep now though, so I’ll read to him. I think it will help.
August 17th, 1942
Today, Rudy came to me and brought me to the Mayor’s house. On a windowsill was a book– the Duden Dictionary. When I opened the book, a letter fell out. It was from Ilsa to me. She wrote that she knew I’d been stealing the books from her library, but she wasn’t angry. It made her smile. The letter also said she was sorry that she couldn’t keep Mama employed, and that she hopes I will come back to her library. I’m not mad at Ilsa anymore. She’s let me steal her books and read them. I think I will go to talk to Ilsa someday, but not today.